There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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