After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
