Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
