my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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