Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
