Where did you get a picture of my penis
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize