No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
