Your dad touched me again.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
