I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize