Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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