Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
