He kissed a someone with a penis
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
