Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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