Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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