WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We got so high we made milksteak
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
