lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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