What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
