It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
