Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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