I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
