Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
