love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
