Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize