I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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