Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
