Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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