Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
