That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So apparently I’m into choking now
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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