Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize