Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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