Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
