I showed him my bush... on skype.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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