Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
North Korea, Best Korea!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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