I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
