That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
