WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
