this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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