I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize