Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
