Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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