So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
