Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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