quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
