im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
