so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
