Can i not drive my cunt home
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
