Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
