Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
