And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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