how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I forget how to act sober
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
