I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize