what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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