So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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