somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
