Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
