He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize