yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
