Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize