All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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