Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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