I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
