ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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