My brain says no but my pants say off.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
