that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
