I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
